Watching the Beijing Olympics

August 13, 2008 - Unless you don't have own a tv, I would say that most people have at least watched parts of the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. I mean, how can one not? It's on tv for hours every night; it's making headlines everywhere; and watching hunky swimmers and gymnasts and kayakers (Adam van Koeverden!) in action certainly beats the idiots on Big Brother 10 and whatever else is going in tv-land.

The biggest story on these Olympics of course has been how China will showcase itself to the world. There have been a lot of negative press of course (Western media will always find something to bash China with), but with the focus now on the athletes, there have been a lot of great inspirational stories as well (NBC is great with the tearjerkers on the athletes' struggle). What I know so far from watching these Olympics is that no other Olympics in the foreseeable future will be as grand, as spectacular, and as human-intensive as these ones. The Olympics are China's coming-out party - an opportunity for it to earn a place in the world, at all costs. Be it shutting down traffic and factories, changing weather patterns with their rain-prevention methods, or building the most stunning Olympics venues, these truly are China's games, and they will not be denied of their glory.

So having said that, here are a few things so far about the games that I made me go: "only in China would they do that..."

1) CGI'd Fireworks at the Opening Ceremony

The opening ceremony was probably one of the most spectacular live events ever in the history of television. That paper moving thing was stunning, though my favourite was the people dancing on those huge globes. What caught most people's attention was of course the stunning fireworks, which made me go WOW when I first saw it (and I didn't even sit through the entire ceremony!). Of course, now we know that some of what we have seen was actually fake - the part with the giant footprints entering the stadium was computer generated and inserted into the live tv footage. China was not going to let poor lighting and low visibility get in the way of wowing the world with its fireworks!

2) Lip-synching 9 year old girl

In addition to the fake fireworks, the opening ceremony also featured a lip-synching 9 year old girl. Olympics organizers loved the girl, but her voice was terrible. They found a 7 year old girl with a great voice, but she was deemed not "pretty enough because of her buck teeth" for the world. So when the 9 year old took the stage in front of billions around the world to sing "Ode to the Motherland", instead of her own voice that came out, it was actually a track recording of the7 year old. Wow. China was not going to let buckteeth ruin it's perfect Olympics!

3) The Bird Nest and the Water Cube

Olympics architecture have always been stunning but the Bird Nest and the Water Cube are now attractions in their own right. Only China would have the billions to spend on these venues that will no doubt become architectural wonders. So a dozen neighbourhoods got destroyed and thousands of people were forced to relocate - but to the Chinese, it's all for the common good of hosting the perfect Olympics.

4) The Fake Cheerleaders

In order to fill all the empty seats in all events, the Beijing organizers gave away free tickets to these professionally trained cheerleaders so that they could "liven up" all events. These cheerleaders, often women in their 50s, were taught how to cheer, clap, and use certain props (like air batons) at the right time. You see them in all sorts of events: women's soccer, rowing, beach volleyball - as they stand out in the crowd with their yellow and red uniform (yes, they wear a uniform). When CBC asked one of them if they know what they are watching and who's playing (it was a Canada-Sweden soccer match), the lady said she has no clue and was hired simply to cheer. Now that to me is a great part time job!

5) The (allegedly) underage gymnasts

Sure, all their documentations say they are 16, but to me, some of the members of the Chinese womens gymnastic team sure looks young. I mean, I know Asians look young generally (I'm a good example), but these girls just look a bit - umm - underdeveloped for 16. Whether they are 14 or 16, what's important I guess is that they are still kicking ass out there on those equipment.

More to come over the upcoming week with additional thoughts on watching the Beijing Olympics. Now if only Canada would win some medals, that would be great!

(Photo credit: Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)